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MFP 256: Growing Your Family Culture – Questions Answered
We need to take a sacramental view of ordinary life – Mike and Alicia Hernon
We often say that family culture is the secret weapon of Catholic families. Why is this? Because the culture within your home is more powerful than any written word. It communicates expectations, beliefs, and values to everyone in the family. In this podcast, we tackle some questions that listeners have sent into us about the culture within their homes. We answer questions like “what do I do about kids always fighting?”, “how do I take care of individual kids in a big family?”, “how do we handle birthdays?”, and “Help! I feel like I’m drowning!” (which isn’t exactly a question, but it is a common email we get!). In all of these situations, the issue comes back again and again to the culture you are fostering within your home. When you see all that you do in light of that, all the other issues will fall into place. Listen in and learn about this powerful tool that every parent should develop.
- The culture within your home trains your children on how to wait, how to take turns, and how to play together.
- If community is a value to your and your spouse, you need to find a way to make it work for both of you.
- Part of your family culture is how you celebrate birthdays, significant days for your child, and holidays. Find what works for your family and use that ritual to communicate to your children how important they are to you.
- When you have a child who is hard to love, the first question to ask is “What is it in ME that is making it hard to love this child? How do I need to change?”
- When you are drowning, get scuba certified. Yes, having children who are all very young is a challenging time, but you can learn some incredible lessons through this time if you embrace it and receive God’s grace through it all. You will be stronger in the end!
- What is our family culture communicating to our individual children?
- How are we communicating about the commitments we are making outside of our family?
- Do we have our priorities right? Are we putting in place our identity first as a daughter or son of God, then as a husband or wife, and then as a mom or dad, and last everything else? How can we live this out more effectively?
- Family Culture Download
- Shalom episode with Fr. Boniface
- Link to Iowa Family Conference registration
MFP 255: The Best Partner for a Great Marriage
Christ is present in a special way when a couple prays together. They not only renew their yes to God, but also achieve a deeper union with each other, which springs solely from the union of hearts and couples in the sacrament of marriage. – Fr. Henri Caffarel
How can couples move their marriage from surviving to thriving, or from good to great? By making couple prayer a normal part of our marriage. Christian marriage is a supernatural endeavor, so that means that it is really not possible to have a successful marriage without Jesus! Prayer between spouses isn’t just something you do, it is a gift from the two of you to Christ Himself. It is acknowledging that Christ is the “glue” that keeps you together. In this podcast we talk about how to incorporate prayer into your marriage, why it is so important, and how prayer can help you forge a deeper unity than you have ever had before. Much of this conversation is discussing the writings of Fr. Henri Caffarel, founder of Teams of Our Lady.
- Meditate on John 17:20-22
- This is how you will build real unity in your marriage
- Don’t let difficulties stop you – your marriage needs this!
- Find your own way of praying but be sure to include the key elements of Praise, Forgiveness, Intercession, and Thanksgiving
- What is holding us back from prayer?
- What is a time and place that we can pray together at least once a week?
- Let’s make a plan. How do we feel comfortable bringing in the Key Elements of prayer?
- Teams booklet on Conjugal Prayer: https://www.teamsofourlady.org/www/default/ckfinder/userfiles/1080/files/Endeavors/Conjugal_prayer_contents.pdf
- Daily Grace Co Marriage Prayer Journal: https://thedailygraceco.com/products/together-marriage-journal-1?_pos=4&_sid=1b4f62838&_ss=r
- Praying Parents Journal
- Praying as a Couple podcast
- Forgiveness podcast
- Praying as a Couple booklet (coming soon)
MFP 254: Journeying with Your Spouse – an interview with David & Margaret Bereit
The indissolubility of marriage…should not be viewed as a ‘yoke’ imposed on humanity, but as a ‘gift’ granted to those who are joined in marriage… God’s indulgent love always accompanies our human journey; through grace, it heals and transforms hardened hearts, leading them back to the beginning through the way of the cross. – Pope Francis
The marriage sacrament is meant to heal and transform us into who God wants us to be! But sometimes that journey is not what we would expect. In this interview, David and Margaret Bereit share their story of marriage and David’s conversion – the two are completely intertwined! Listen in as we talk about how they walked together in freedom though they were in different places, how they loved each other and their children in the midst of their different faiths, and how David came to join the Church and what that meant for them both. There is some great advice in this interview for those in mixed marriages and for anyone who wants to know how to deeply love friends and family who are in a different place than yourself.
MFP 253: Mentoring Mothers – Mom of Ten Tells All!
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30
Back by popular demand, this is another interview that we did with Michele Doman, Alicia’s mom and mother of 10 grown children, grandmother to over 55, and great grandmother to more than 7! In the last interview, we talked about Michele’s life as a young wife and mother. In this conversation, we talk more about being a parent of a large family and how she was able to do that successfully over the last 50+ years of marriage. Listen in and get some wisdom on discipline, relationships with teens, and managing a large household. You will hear that the struggles are real, but so are the joys and blessings of marriage and family life.
MFP 252: Managing Relationships – Your Questions Answered!
Of course your children don’t get along. They don’t know how to get along! That’s kind of what you are doing as parents, teaching them what they don’t know – Mike and Alicia
All of us struggle to live in a community. That is the human condition – we need other people but we also find it hard to live with them! This is true for children, but also for adults. In this episode, we answer some questions that our listeners had about what to do when your kids fight with your friends’ kids, how to handle dividing up household responsibilities with your spouse, and what to do with adult children who are living at home. It’s hard for kids to learn, but it’s also hard for parents to know how to teach in a way that can be received. Listen into this conversation and take some time to discuss these important topics with your spouse.
MFP 251: Every Parent Needs Healing: An interview with Dr. Bob Schuchts
“Healing is an essential dimension of Christinaity. It expresses the entire content of our redemption.” ~ Pope Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth
Some of us think of healing as being “for other people”, those with trauma, abuse, or mental illness. But that is not the way that Dr. Bob Schuchts sees healing. As you will hear, he believes that healing is part of the story of every Christian because we all have been damaged by our own fallen nature and we all live in a broken world! There is an anointing in our Church right now for healing ministries like this and we believe healing is essential for every parent so they can be who God is calling them to be in the lives of their children. We have been personally blessed by Dr. Bob’s teaching and ministry through the John Paul II Healing Institute and we are very excited to share this interview with him. Listen in to this conversation about why we need healing, how to be healed, and the role that Christ wants to play in each of our journeys.
Join us for a live Family Board Meeting in Steubenville October 20-22, 2023 – https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting-live/
MFP 250: Catholic Manhood and Brotherhood
“Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
God did not create man in isolation, He created man to live in community with others. This is the best path for the full development of the human person! Men need other men to push them, support them, love them, and let them know they have what it takes. In this touching interview, Mike talks to John Doman, Alicia’s dad, about his experience as a young Marine in Viet Nam and the events that set the course of his life. They cover John’s marriage to Michele, his wife of 50 yrs, his struggle with PTSD after the war, and how the brothers God gave him throughout his life saved him again and again – physically and spiritually. Listen to this very important conversation about the importance of relationships and how God can use them to show us His love over and over again.
Family Board Meeting – LIVE! : messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting-live/
Watch here: https://youtu.be/FIT6s7szDlU
MFP 249: JPII’s Secret to Catholic Family Life
“This is a book about love; more exactly, it is about the love that knows no end, the love our hearts yearn for. The love that consumes, that reverberates, that heightens—it is a love that costs everything—yet offers everything. – Theresa and Peter Martin, The Rule
When the young priest Fr. Karol Wojtyla was living in Poland, he wrote a “rule” for married couples, similar to the protocols that religious orders follow for their way of life. His suggestions were born out of his deep friendships with young married couples who he observed and who helped him see what married couples need to do to find true life within the married vocation. We heard about this book and were immediately intrigued, so we invited Theresa and Peter Martin to share with us more about their book, how it came to be, and about The Rule itself. In this podcast, we talk about the challenges of married life and how the Church can help us live a life of grace, the role of children in this quest of holiness, and what a life of prayer looks like in the home. Most importantly, we talk about community and how essential it is for families to support each other in their common life. Listen in and see how you can join in this movement of married couples living the Rule outlined by St. John Paul II.
MFP 248: You Need a Family Retreat
“When an army retreats on the battlefield, it doesn’t mean that they are giving up. It can mean that they are taking time to reassess and regroup so they can come back stronger. This is the essence of a Family Retreat.” ~ Mike Hernon
The concept of a family retreat is something that we have developed over the years for our own family. It grew out of our desire to regroup and reconnect with our kids outside of the daily chaos in our home. To do this, we have taken our children to vacation homes, retreat houses, and occasionally to a hotel, to take some time for family fun, team building activities, teaching and prayer. We don’t use a set program, but we do have the same principles that we use over and over. In this podcast, we share these principles with you so you can develop your own retreat for your family. If you would like more than what is just offered on this podcast – check out our Family Retreat Guide found on our website! Even if you don’t do a retreat this year, listen in so you can talk about it with your spouse and develop a strategic “retreat” for your family.
Family Retreat Guide: messyfamilyproject.org/guides/
Watch the episode here: https://youtu.be/A5pQ-qaJ9vY
MFP 247.5: Why You Need a Getaway with Chris and Natalie Stefanick.
We love hanging out with Chris and Natalie but in this interview, we found out something else we have in common. Both of us had honeymoons that were epic fails! Is the last time you got away, your honeymoon? Hear from all four of us as we talk about the first time that we got away as a married couple without our children and why we think it’s so important. Parents have a lot resting on their shoulders. Work, the busyness of family life and the strains of our world need to be relieved by taking time to get away from ordinary life to be reminded of who we are and our first priorities. Getting away has a price but the return is unbelievable! Listen in as we chat with Chris and Natalie Stefanick about the first time that they got away, some crazy failures on our honeymoon and how you can make the most of the time when you go away.
More information at catholiccouplesgetaway.com