“Every family has an anointing and in order to walk in that anointing we need to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit.”
– Deacon Larry Oney
You’ve probably heard the phrase: “The family that prays together, stays together.” And while we’d agree, we think there’s a fundamental step you have to take first…
Praying as a couple.
Many people feel intimidated by the idea of praying with their spouse. That totally makes sense: it’s raw, vulnerable and feels awkward to do. Not only are you opening yourself up to the Holy Spirit, but you’re doing so in front of and with your spouse!
And while we feel awkward about it, we all know it’s something we should be doing. The question is: How do we start?
In theory, we all know we should pray together as a spouse. But what are the actual benefits of doing so? How does praying as a couple strengthen our marriages and families?
We’ve all personally seen the benefits of prayer in our own lives, how we’ve grown and how prayer has changed us. Wouldn’t praying as a couple then strengthen our marriages as well, helping us grow closer to the Lord together as individual prayer has?
In the Gospel of Matthew, our Lord promises us that “Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:20).
When we pray as a couple, the Holy Spirit is right there with us, giving us grace and wisdom in our marriages. Marriage is hard! We need that guidance!
But beyond our own marriages, praying as a couple is a great example for our children. They learn by what they see more so than by what we say, so our example of prayer is the best thing for their own prayer lives.
When they see us making intentional time for prayer, both as a couple and individually, they pick up on the importance of the practice.
So where do we begin praying as a couple? It seems like a daunting task, awkward to bring up and difficult to get going!
Our best advice is to just start! If it feels awkward to pray out loud together, start with a few weeks of praying silently side by side. Maybe choose a Scripture passage to pray with at the same time. When you’re ready, share a few of the takeaways from your prayer time.
If you’re ready to dive in now, you could use the daily readings to pray Lectio Divina (check out the Hallow app’s guide on it).
Another idea is to begin your day with intercessory prayer together, praying out loud in turn for the day, the children and your intentions. This only takes a few minutes, but gets you started on the right foot with prayer and time together as a couple!
Remember, it takes a few weeks to make a habit and a few more to find a groove with a new habit. So if it’s hard at first, keep at it! You’ll find a routine that works well for you as a couple.
Praying as a couple may not feel natural to you. If you come from a family who didn’t pray regularly or you never saw your parents pray, it’s very possible that you’ll feel awkward at first. That’s okay!
Starting something new always feels strange (think about the first time you rode a bike or moved to a new house) but the more we do it, the more natural it begins to feel.
Praying together as a couple is the same way. It’s strange to share something so intimate and vulnerable with anyone, even your spouse! But just as grace flows from your marriage and from time spent individually in prayer, grace and unity will flow from time spent together in prayer.
If you’d like to hear more about allowing the Holy Spirit into your marriage, check out our latest podcast episode.
You can download our marriage unity guide right here!
There’s still time to sign up to join us in Cozumel, Mexico next January! You can check out the details and sign up for a spot here.