“Family life is full of competing needs, responsibilities, and relationships. And sometimes there isn’t one obvious “right” answer.”

In this listener questions episode, Mike, Alicia, and Katie tackle some of the complicated situations real families are facing: What should a mom do when her teenage son starts turning to Dad instead of her? How do you discern where your family should live? Should you move if your spouse is unhappy but your children are thriving? How do you honor your parents while putting your spouse first? They also discuss life with a large family in a small house, sibling bickering, extracurriculars, protecting family dinners, and caring for aging parents from far away. Through all of these questions runs one important truth: you can’t eliminate every tension or make everyone happy. The goal is to discern what God is asking of you, protect the unity of your marriage, and confidently lead the family He has entrusted to you.

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a
web browser that
supports HTML5 video

59 Min Listen

Who Comes First? Navigating the Hard Choices of Family Life

Key Takeaways

• You can’t eliminate every family tension or please everyone — the goal is discernment, not perfection
• A teenage son turning to Dad more isn’t rejection of Mom; it’s a normal shift worth understanding, not fighting
• Deciding where to live means weighing whose flourishing matters most, not just going with the “thriving” spouse or child by default
• Protecting your marriage’s unity comes before keeping every family member individually happy
• “Leaving and cleaving” doesn’t mean cutting off parents — it means your spouse becomes the primary loyalty
• Small houses and big families aren’t a problem to solve so much as a constraint to work within creatively 
• Sibling bickering and packed activity schedules both call for intentional limits, not just endurance
• Family dinners need active protection against the pull of sports and extracurriculars
• Caring for aging parents from a distance requires its own kind of discernment and boundaries

🙏  If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project!

Give Here Today!

“Catholic couples don’t discern if they should have a child, they discern if they should postpone pregnancy. These are two different conversations. ”

This re-release of a 2015 episode presents Natural Family Planning as more than a technique: it’s a way of living that contrasts sharply with a culture focused on control and convenience. We explore how modern society tends to “engineer” outcomes, even in areas like fertility, while NFP invites couples to cooperate with the natural design of the body, integrating both faith and science. This approach requires intentional communication, shared decision-making, and a willingness to embrace sacrifice, particularly through periodic abstinence. Rather than seeing these challenges as burdens, we can view them as opportunities for growth in virtue, deeper unity, and trust in God.

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a
web browser that
supports HTML5 video

60 Min Listen

NFP- Love, Life, and Learning Self-Control

Key Takeaways

• Catholic teaching on marriage holds love and life together.

  • Marriage is both unitive and procreative, meaning sex is meant to express love between spouses while remaining open to the possibility of new life.

• Humanae Vitae was not just a rule, but a prophetic warning.

  • The Church warned that widespread acceptance of contraception would lead to moral decline, marital infidelity, loss of respect for women, abuse of power, and a distorted sense of control over the human body.

• Responsible parenthood requires prayerful discernment, not pressure or guilt.

  • Couples are called to use reason, wisdom, Church teaching, and honest prayer to discern whether they are ready for another child, taking into account physical, emotional, psychological, economic, and family circumstances.

• Natural Family Planning can be hard, but it can also form couples in love and self-gift.

  • NFP requires discipline, communication, patience, and sacrifice. It can bring struggles, especially around affection, desire, and misunderstanding, but it also invites spouses to love each other beyond physical intimacy alone.

• Children are a blessing, not a burden or a lifestyle accessory.

  • While raising children is demanding, they are one of the greatest fruits of marriage. They change, challenge, and sanctify parents, and families should not measure children only by cost, convenience, or cultural expectations.

Couple Discussion Questions

• Do you feel like we communicate openly about family size, timing, and fertility decisions?

• How do you experience the “sacrifice” aspect of NFP?

• What kind of family culture do we want to build around life, children, and generosity?

• How can we better support each other during more difficult seasons?

Resources

• MFP 158: Oh Baby! How Many Babies Should We Have?

• Humanae Vitae

• USCCB on Natural Family Planning

• Dr. Janet Smith

• Couple to Couple League

• NaProTechnology (Creighton Model of NFP)

• Theology of the Body Institute

Download Podcast Here

🙏  If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project!

Give Here Today!

“High expectations along with high support produces resilient kids.”

In this episode, Mike and Alicia focus on the challenge of raising resilient kids in a culture that often prioritizes comfort and protection. They emphasize that while parents naturally shield their children from pain and failure, doing so too often can actually prevent them from developing the strength and perseverance they need in life. Instead, resilience is built when kids are allowed to express appropriate struggles, learn from mistakes, and grow through adversity with the steady support of their parents. This re-release of a 2017 episode encourages couples to find a balance between being caring and supportive without over-rescuing, and to intentionally foster a family culture where challenges are seen as opportunities for growth rather than problems to avoid.

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a
web browser that
supports HTML5 video

59 Min Listen

Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things

Key Takeaways

• Kids will experience all kind of small hardships in childhood and these are life’s way of making them stronger.  For example, not being chosen, relationship difficulties, failure in athletics or school.

• Some kids are more or less naturally resilient

• Parents need to be aware of the pitfalls of taking on their children’s pain or seeing their failure as our failure. 

• Practice intentional parenting.  Begin with speaking to them the truth, then teach them to take responsibility for their actions, and see how they can learn from the experience.  

• High expectations along with high support produce resilient kids.  

Couple Discussion Questions

• How do we usually react when our child fails, gets hurt emotionally, or feels left out?

• How can we better balance being supportive without removing struggle?

Resources

• MFP 353: Why are Kids so Anxious?

• MFP 335: Safety-ism

Download Podcast Here

🙏  If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project!

Give Here Today!

“Parents need to awaken in children their sacramental imagination within the home. This takes time.”

Steven Serafin

In this episode, we talk with Steven Serafin of Faith and Family Life Catholic Ministries about how parents can reclaim their role as the primary teachers of the faith. Drawing from the catechumenal model, he explains that faith is passed on through relationship and daily life, not just programs. In a culture that no longer supports belief, families must intentionally live the faith at home through habits of prayer, discipline, and meaningful conversation. Steven shares simple ways to start, like blessing your children and creating small rituals that build a child’s sacramental imagination. He also highlights the importance of rest, living with heaven as the goal, and finding a supportive community. Strong parishes, he says, grow when families accompany and evangelize one another.  Listen in and learn how you are already passing on the faith to your children within your daily life! 

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a
web browser that
supports HTML5 video

57 Min Listen

Faith at Home: No Degree Required

Key Takeaways

• Parents are the primary teachers of the faith, and it’s passed on through daily life, not just programs or classes.

• The catechumenal model shows that faith grows through accompaniment, walking with others in relationship.

• Simple habits at home like prayer, blessing your children, and meaningful conversations build a lasting faith.

• Families need to slow down, embrace rest, and keep their focus on heaven rather than constant busyness or success.

• You’re not meant to do this alone. Small communities of families supporting each other are essential for raising children in the faith.

Couple Discussion Questions

• What’s one simple habit your family could start this week to live the faith more intentionally at home?

• Where do you feel most stretched or distracted as a parent, and how might slowing down or embracing “rest” change that?

• Who are the people or families you could walk with in faith so you’re not trying to do this alone?

Resources

Faith and Family Life Catholic Ministries

Download Podcast Here

🙏  If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project!

Give Here Today!

This re-release of a 2016 episode focuses on the experience of feeling overwhelmed as a parent and reframes it as a sign that your current responsibilities have exceeded your capacity, not a personal failure. It encourages parents to step back, prioritize their primary vocation of loving their spouse and children, and let go of unrealistic expectations that create unnecessary pressure. By simplifying schedules, reducing commitments, and taking small, manageable steps, families can regain a sense of peace and control. In this conversation, Mike and Alicia also show the importance of surrendering stress to God through prayer, trusting that faith and intentional living can bring clarity and calm even in the midst of chaos.

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a
web browser that
supports HTML5 video

40 Min Listen

Jesus Take the Wheel! Being Overwhelmed

Key Takeaways

• Realize that this too will pass.  Most of the time our children are going through phases and end.  

• Prioritize what’s really important and the rest will fall into place.  We need to learn to focus.

• Look at the standards you’re setting for yourself and recognize they may not be realistic.  Give yourself grace.  

• Rest in the fact that God will always provide a way out for you. He will never give you more than you can handle with His grace. 

Couple Discussion Questions

• Do you feel supported by me in stressful moments?

• Where might we need to adJUST the bar or give each other more grace?

• What do we believe our top priorities are as a family right now?

Resources

• Family board meeting guide 

Download Podcast Here

🙏  If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project!

Give Here Today!

Have you ever felt distant from your spouse, like you’re simply coexisting in the same house or experiencing dryness in your marriage? Every marriage goes through natural cycles of romance and disillusionment, but without intentional actions, indifference can creep in. How do you break out of that indifference and reconnect? In this re-release of Episode 089, we give simple and practical advice for couples to escape indifference and rebuild a happy, healthy marriage.

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a
web browser that
supports HTML5 video

50 Min Listen

What Happens After the Romance Fades?

Key Takeaways

• Love is a decision, not a feeling. When we recommit ourselves to our relationship things can start to improve.

• “In losing your life, you will save it” – Give yourself away.  You can’t control your spouse, but you can take action and start to love unconditionally.

• Pursue your spouse through affirmation, physical love, and by praying for them. 

• Do it now – immediately.  Delaying only makes things worse.  The sooner you can reorient yourselves towards each other, the easier it wll be.  

Couple Discussion Questions

• How much quality time do we actually spend together each week? Do we talk mostly about logistics, or do we share our hearts?

• What types of affection make each of us feel most connected?

• What would be a simple way to start praying together more consistently?

Resources

• MFP Episode 015: Five Love Languages

• MFP Episode 054: Vulnerability in Marriage

• MFP Blog: Disillusionment: What to do and how to fight it

• MFP Resource: Communication in Marriage

Download Podcast Here

🙏  If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project!

Give Here Today!